Diversity has no place here I guess....

Today, I received this from a subscriber:

I subscribed to your newsletter as soon as I saw your
website - unfortunately, when I looked a little deeper
I discovered you mix your ultra-rightwing politics in.
I don't care to read such drivel.

Please cancel my subscription.

Ed (last name and email deleted)

My reply:

Consider it done, I will be sorry to see you go.
F.Y.I. the newsletter is a separate entity from the blog, the blog of course represents my own personal views. It's sad that you're so intolerant of a viewpoint that doesn't agree with yours. It's my belief that diversity makes us all stronger. However, at your request I will take you off the subscription list.

Yours,
- Steve Doss
steve@notweird.com

To all of you reading this, although I'm a registered republican and have this blog to express my views and my support for GW, this should *never* be a yardstick with which to judge or vilify or condemn. This country was founded on the belief that diverse opinion and frank discussion should and would be tolerated. Some don't share that ideal, and I would fight for their right to have that position... such is the greatness of our country.

I know, you're going to say that this blog doesn't represent that diveristy... of course not. It's my opinion, my view, my blog. The posts on this blog are mainly here to amuse or shock or to be just plain silly while slanting to my own personal viewpoint. That being said, I would never hate Ed or any other Kerry supporter just because they support liberalism or John Kerry. Who needs that added anxiety? Life is tough enough without it.

Just so you know, my entire family is made up of liberal democrats, but I don't stop loving them and they don't stop loving me... life, love and people are more important than a political ideology.

- Steve Doss

Go Get 'Em

From the "I Second That Emotion" Files:

Open Letter To Michael Moore, Osama Bin Laden and F9/11 (post by Kat at The Middle Ground)

Mr. Moore,

You are a scurrilous, obese, disgusting, treasonous dog. A stinking boil on the ass of humanity.

How did it feel when you heard Osama Bin Laden, the arch enemy and single most prolific mass murderer of 3000 Americans, quote your movie? Did it give you a vicarious thrill? You piece of shit.

Not enough that your poisonous filth was distributed by the terrorist "minutemen" of your fantastical nightmare, Hezbollah, or shown in Iran, that "free" country that hangs little girls for speaking out against the religious fanaticism of her country while you decry the faith of the President of the country which you infamously claim citizenship to. You must now believe yourself some Godhead, having captured the attention of your favorite celebrity, the same scum which you declared justified in his acts only a day after your fellow citizens were burned to a crisp in two towers by an inferno of jet fuel, or forced to jump to their death from 100 stories, crushed beneath the weight of hundreds of thousands of tons of steel and concrete. Nothing left to identify them but a shard of a leg bone, a tooth, a finger.

Read the rest...

Hobbits Found... Kinda...

In an astonishing discovery that could rewrite the history of human evolution, scientists say they have found the skeleton of a new human species, a dwarf, marooned for eons in a tropical Lost World while modern man rapidly colonized the rest of the planet.

The finding on a remote Indonesian island has stunned anthropologists like no other in recent memory. It is a fundamentally new creature that bears more of a resemblance to fictional, barefooted hobbits than modern humans. ...full story...

Morbo Reports...

Narratives Exclusive...

"As president, I will expand our Army by 40,000 troops so that we have more soldiers to find and fight the enemy. I will double our Army Special Forces capacity. And we will accelerate the development and deployment of new technologies to track down and bring down terrorists. " - John Kerry

Narratives of the Weird has been given a rough cut video preview of John Kerry's plan to fight global terrorism... you can watch it here.

Republicans Have Better Sex

'Primetime Live' Poll: More Republicans Satisfied With Sex Lives Than Democrats

New 'Primetime Live' Sex Survey Reveals That More Republicans (56%) Are Very Satisfied With Their Sex Lives Than Democrats (47%) ...more...

Guess this confirms what I've always suspected about my liberal friends, y'all need to get laid more...

And You Thought The Office Coffee Was Shitty...

Philippine company sells civet-dropping coffee

MANILA (AFP) - A small Philippine company is combining commerce with conservation by offering one of the world's most prized coffees -- made from the beans found in the droppings of the civet.

The product, known as "Coffee Alamid," after the local name of the wild animal, is being sold in a few local shops but may soon be exported, the owner of the Bote Central company said Wednesday.

The blend uses coffee beans processed through the digestive system of the vulnerable Philippine civet, a small, cat-like nocturnal mammal closely related to the mongoose. ...more...

This is way wrong!

Both my wife and I, either by blood or marriage, have relatives with Down Syndrome and we take personal offense to this:



Follow up links:
http://michellemalkin.com/archives/000659.htm

Story link:
http://www.teamgop.org/press_archivesb.htm

Political affiliation aside, if this doesn't offend you, you're sick.

For first time, US govt cracks down on spyware installers

From the "It's about fucking time! " Files:

WASHINGTON (AFP) - The US government has moved for the first time to block unsolicited circulation on the Internet of spyware, a type of software that can inundate Web users with pop-up ads, secretly take control of their computers and spy on their online activities.

The Federal Trade Commission announced here Tuesday that it had used existing fair trade laws in asking a federal court to shut down some of the leading distributors of this cyberspace tool.

"Consumers don't deserve to be pestered and spied on by people who illegally hijack their computers," said Lydia Parnes, acting director of the FTC's Bureau of Consumer Protection. "We're putting purveyors of spyware on notice: This is our first spyware case, but it won't be our last." ...more...

Poles Are Cool

From the 'Yeah Baby' Files:

'World sex championships' to defy ban by Warsaw mayor

WARSAW (AFP) - The organisers of a Polish erotic fair vowed to defy a ban by the Warsaw mayor and go ahead in staging a contest for the woman who can have sex with as many men as possible.

The four-day "Eroticon" festival, which opened in the Polish capital Thursday, plans to organise a "test" for women, dubbed the "world sex championships," despite an order from city hall banning the competition.

"The contest will take place," said Krzysztof Garwatowski, a spokesman for the event's organisers, who appear to be counting on the publicity stunt to draw in the crowds.

"Last year, the fair attracted more than 11,000 visitors. With all this publicity the mayor has generated for us, we hope to do even better this year," Garwatowski told AFP. ...more

Copyright © 2004 Agence France Presse. All rights reserved. The information contained in the AFP News report may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed without the prior written authority of Agence France Presse.

We'll Miss You Rodney

Tonight while watching the big veep debate, I checked my email and received some distressing news... Rodney Dangerfield had died.

In spite of all that's at stake, in spite of the misfortune that's afflicted my own family, I paused and realized that the passing of this great comedian has left a small hole in my heart and has made us all a little poorer.

Goodbye Rodney, thanks for the laughs. We won't forget you.

Keryy Reaches Out to the Universal Community

Defending his 'Global Test' remark during last week's debate, John Kerry made this statement:

“But I can do a better job of protecting America’s security because the test that I was talking about was a test of legitimacy, not just in the globe, but elsewhere.” [emphasis added]

Finally a president who talks to aliens. Na-noo Na-noo.

Man Mistakenly Cuts Off Penis, Dog Eats It

From the 'Chokin' the Chicken' Files:

BUCHAREST (Reuters) - A elderly Romanian man mistook his penis for a chicken's neck, cut it off and his dog rushed up and ate it, the state Rompres news agency said Monday.

It said 67 year-old Constantin Mocanu, from a village near the southeastern town of Galati, rushed out into his yard in his underwear to kill a noisy chicken keeping him awake at night.

"I confused it with the chicken's neck," Mocanu, who was admitted to the emergency hospital in Galati, was quoted as saying. "I cut it ... and the dog rushed and ate it."

Doctors said the man, who was brought in by an ambulance bleeding heavily, was now out of danger.

How the fuck do you confuse your dick for a chicken neck?

Copyright © 2004 Reuters Limited. All rights reserved. Republication or redistribution of Reuters content is expressly prohibited without the prior written consent of Reuters. Reuters shall not be liable for any errors or delays in the content, or for any actions taken in reliance thereon.

Weird Pic of the Month

The weird pic of the month is chosen every first Saturday and features a real photo or photoshop creation from member submissions and or whatever I happen to stumble across from the previous month... sounds convoluted, cuz it is.

The link is only announced to members of the Narratives of the Weird newsletter (usually in the first newsletter of the month)... but this time, I was rolling on the floor laughing my nads off... so I'll share it with you here:



(I stumbled across this gem at Little Green Footballs)

Schwarzenegger Terminates Snooty French Food

LOS ANGELES (AFP) - California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger (news - web sites) signed a law that will effectively take foie gras off the menu in the state, banning the forcefeeding of geese and ducks often carried out to produce the French delicacy.
... full story...

F.Y.I.
According to The Humane Society of the United States:
In order to produce foie gras The ducks and geese force-fed for foie gras are being compelled to consume much more high-energy food—mostly corn—than they would eat voluntarily. This damages their liver and often kills them. ...more...

Mt. St. Helens After Action Report - Update 10/02

Officials have increased the Volcano Advisory to Alert Level 3 and have told photographers and camera crews to evacuate the mountain.

"There is a 50 percent chance or greater that there is going to be an eruption and a good chance that it will involve magma," said Tom Pierson with the U.S. Geological Survey. "We're watching it very closely."

Current status is Volcano Alert (Alert Level 3); aviation color code RED

Mt. St. Helens After Action Report

Mount St. Helens Information Statement,
October 1, 2004, 1:45 P.M., PDT

Mount St. Helens remains at Alert Level 2—Volcano Advisory

Shortly before noon today, Mount St. Helens emitted a plume of steam and minor ash from an area of new crevasses in the crater glacier south of the 1980-86 lava dome. This area was described in the prior Information Statement issued at 12:45 P.M. The event lasted from 11:57 to 12:21 PDT and created a pale-gray cloud that reached an altitude of about 9700 ft (from pilot reports). It drifted southwestward, where nearby residents should receive no more than a minor dusting of ash. USGS scientists making thermal measurements witnessed the emission and noted that the clouds were not particularly hot. Blocks of rock and ice ejected by the event fell in the crater and rim areas. The emission was accompanied by an abrupt drop in seismicity, which remains at low levels.

Similar events are possible in the future. We will monitor the situation closely over the next several hours anddays in order to determine the outlook for future behavior. Additional updates will be issued as needed.

Kerry Would've Given Nuclear Fuel to Iran:

From the debate last night (and if you don't believe me, read the transcript):

KERRY: With respect to Iran, the British, French, and Germans were the ones who initiated an effort without the United States, regrettably, to begin to try to move to curb the nuclear possibilities in Iran. I believe we could have done better. I think the United States should have offered the opportunity to provide the nuclear fuel, test them, see whether or not they were actually looking for it for peaceful purposes. If they weren't willing to work a deal, then we could have put sanctions together. The president did nothing.

WHAT?!? What the hell kind of lunacy is that? GIVE Iran NUCLEAR Fuel to TEST THEM?!? This guy is nutty...

Animals Gone ...uh... Wild...

In Croatia, a hunter was shot by his own hound while preparing to go off into the woods... more...

A bear in Colorado ransacks a kitchen while a paralyzed man lies in bed... more...

In Houston a snake becomes a movie critic (kinda fitting huh?)... more...

Finally, horny koalas in southern Australia will be put on the pill... more...