A Dirty Bomb Exploded In Your Neighborhood

and the gub'mint says 'Oh well, we can't help everyone. That's what happens. It's why we call it a catastrophe'

From the "Fuck the Pleebs" Files:
The Pentagon says there is a drug that may be able to treat radiation exposure in the event of a terrorist nuclear attack. Why isn't that drug available?

60 Minutes reports on a drug that treats radiation sickness better than any other drug... ever. Unfortunately the government isn't ordering an adequate supply. Story Link

You have to watch this. Pay close attention to the what the gub'mint official says.

60Minutes - Ed Bradley - 12:36
From a WedMD Article:

In studies in monkeys, Neumune protected all three elements of the bone marrow: the white blood cells that fight infection, the platelets that help blood to clot, and the red blood cells that transport oxygen throughout the body, Stickney reports. "No other single compound has ever done that before."

In the studies, 30 primates were exposed to potentially fatal doses of radiation. "The doses we gave were such that you would expect 50% of the animals to die," Stickney says, "a good simulation of what would happen [to humans] in a terrorist nuclear explosion."

Ten of the animals received no treatment, while 10 received placebo and 10 received injections of Neumune beginning several hours after radiation exposure. The study showed that 90% of the Neumune-treated macaques survived, compared with only 55% of those that received either placebo or no treatment.

The drug had few side effects, with only minor swelling that resolved over time, Stickney says.

As a pleeb living within commuting distance of the greatest city on earth and primary terrorist target - New York - it would be a neat idea to have a supply of those handy little Neumune self injectors nearby. It would seem to be a common sense thing to do, but then, one cannot expect a gub'mint bureaucracy to display common sense.

Shipoopi

Only Family Guy could make this song fun:


From Family Guy's Freakin' Blog:

"Shipoopi" is the biggest and most elaborate number we have ever done. The song has a cast of thousands and a 45 second dance break! That doesn’t sound like a lot of time until you have to fill it with 24 drawings per second and dancing scenes are not like dialogue scenes, you have to practically animate it in order for them to get it right oversees. I stole dance moves from "Music Man" and "Singin’ in the Rain" and "That’s Entertainment" ...you will see Peter doing steps from Debbie Reynolds, Gene Kelly, Fred Estaire and others.

You gotta admit, they did a hell of a job!

Your Funny Bone is So Big

From the "Fuzzy Tickler" Files:

When it comes to romance, women prefer someone who tickles their funny bone while men opt for those who catch their eye, according to an international survey released on Wednesday.

The survey, conducted in 16 countries by Canadian romance publisher Harlequin Enterprises, asked men and women on six continents about traits they liked or disliked and how they went about trying to meet Mr. or Ms. Right. ...more...

The article went on to enlighten us to such insights as:
- Australians and British drink too much
- German and Italian men lie about their finances
- Brazilian and Mexican men said they had lied about their marriages
- 30% of Spanish men, but no Spanish women, looked for love online... So who are the Spanish men talking to? (gay)
- France, Brazil, Greece, Japan like sumptin' good to look at
- Portuguese men dig the smart chicks
- United States and Canada both men and women like a big funny bone.... guess humor goes both ways in North America

The F in Ford

1 in 4 Ford employees are being asked to bend over and take one for the team.

The Daily Show sums it up best:

Runtime - 4:12

Vermont Loves Your Children

After watching this O’Reilly Talking Points Memo video, I decided it was time for Vermont to change it’s welcome signs:

Here are a few suggestions:

Welcome to Vermont – Come for the Syrup, Stay for the Rape

Welcome to Vermont – Destroying America One Child At A Time – Oh, We Also Have Great Syrup!

Welcome to Vermont – We Love Your Children - Literally!

Got one? Send and email to: Comments at NotWeird dot Com

I’ll publish your suggestions in a follow up post *and* if yours makes me laugh out loud – no small task – I *might* consider buying you a gift subscription to the Joke A Day premium website (that’s website – not the joke mailing – sorry it’s all we can afford).

Two Rights Make A Wrong

Turn that is...

CORPUS CHRISTI, Texas (Reuters) - Researchers were surprised this week by the sudden appearance -- and quick disappearance -- of two rare Northern right whales in the busy industrial port of Corpus Christi Bay.

"It's a most extraordinary event," said oceanographer Tony Amos of the University of Texas Marine Science Institute in Port Aransas.

"They're almost unknown in the Gulf of Mexico. Why they would come into the bay, I don't really know." ...more...

In other news:

4 more Sushi King outlets to open next year

SUSHI Kin Sdn Bhd, a member of the Texchem Group, plans to set up four more Sushi King restaurants ... by the end of next year.

Say it Taint So

John Stewart and Ed Helms tackle Washington's dirty politics:

Runtime - 3:27

Stupid In America

20/20's John Stossel reports on the state of schools in America. - Story link here.
Because this file is so large, we ripped it into four parts.
Part One - Part Two - Part Three - Part Four

Stupid In America by John Stossel of ABC's 20/20:

Stupid in America Part One - Runtime - 7:14

We ripped the video because we thought this piece was too important.

Bottom's Up

The Top 5 Gay Cowboy Movies

5> Flaming Saddles

4> Skivvy Slickers

3> Tool Hand Luke

2> Dances With Bears

and Topfive.com's Number 1 Gay Cowboy Movie...

1> Fun With Dick and Dick

Courtesy Topfive.com - Tell 'em Narratives of the Weird sent ya... they won't have a clue what you're talkin' about.

Paranormal Slugfest

In two weeks time the paranormal world could burst wide open!

Lou Gentile of the, appropriately named, Lou Gentile show will submit an application to the James Randi Educational Foundation’s $1 Million Paranormal Challenge to offer proof of life beyond the grave.

For those not familiar with JREF, the James Randi Educational Foundation is a not-for-profit organization whose goal is to raise the general public’s awareness of false claims of paranormal gifts, experiences and abilities. According to JREF’s website, one of the tools they use to do this is the Million Dollar Paranormal Challenge, ‘a one-million-dollar prize to anyone who can show, under proper observing conditions, evidence of any paranormal, supernatural, or occult power or event.’

Lou Gentile is taking the challenge seriously and will, within the next two weeks, offer up his research for JREF’s scrutiny. According to his press release Lou claims he ‘has made repeated and independently verified recordings of voices of an unknown origin’ otherwise know as EVP (Electronic Voice Phenomena) and can obtain these recordings ‘anywhere at anytime including in a laboratory under controlled conditions.’

Paranormal enthusiasts have advanced the theory that EVP’s are generated by non-physical entities trying to communicate from the spiritual realm. Skeptics of EVP’s, how ever, claim that the phenomena are nothing more than interference from normal radio, CB or other wireless communication devices.

Narratives of the Weird and The ‘Weird Blog will be watching Lou Gentile and JREF slug it out over this issue and will offer an update on this upcoming battle as soon as Lou’s application hits the JREF website.

The New 2006 Nickel

New 2006 nickel captures the essence of aristocratic restrain.

This new coin perfectly captures the natural reserve and control of Thomas Jefferson as he engages in his favorite pastime: admiring hot naked slave breasts bouncing in his fields.

I'm sorry Mr. Kennedy, but....

I’m feel it’s necessary for me to apologize to Mr. Kennedy, Mr. Schumer and Mr. Biden… I couldn’t hear a word they were saying during the Alito hearings… every time they opened their mouths, I’ll I could hear was this:

When Mars Attacks?

The Top 10 Reasons Mars Decided to Attack Earth

10> We're sick and tired of you sending those stupid little
robots! They messed up the sand works of some of our greatest
artists!

9> Physically disputing rights to the "Mars Bars" brand is
cheaper than lawyers.

8> To get some of them exotic *two*-breasted women!

7> It's obvious you humans have no idea how to take care of
your planet. So we'll make sure it's no longer an issue.

6> The unfortunate misconception that Ray Walston was executed.

5> It was a slow Sunday afternoon, no games were on and the wife
wanted the crater cleaned out. So, what the heck, we attacked
Earth.

4> A Mars Rover apparently ran over somebody's really, really
slow-moving pet.

3> They misinterpreted the cancellation of "Enterprise" as the
dismantling of Earth's space defenses.

2> Because 9-year-old Charles Thomas of Riverside, California
didn't eat his peas last night. That's right, Charles, it's
because of YOU.

and the Number 1 Reason Mars Decided to Attack Earth...

1> They were insulted that after years of sending diplomatic
missions, we finally responded with two envoy robots, but
neither was equipped with the proper ambassadorial anal probe.

Courtesy TopFive.com